Joke of the day

[saber6]

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage.

When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."
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[dave.s3693]

Good one haha

[saber6]

A neatly dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and asked -
"Sir, would you like to buy a a bottle of this mouthwash for $200.00?"

Aghast, the man said, "are you NUTS?, that's robbery!"

The salesman seemed hurt and then tries again -
"Sir, since you are a bit irate, I'll sell it to you for 1/2 price at $100.00?

Again, the man replies bluntly - "you must be crazy pal, now go away!"

The salesman then reaches into his briefcase and pulls out 2 brownies and begins munching away on one of them. He tells the irate guy -
"Sir, please share one of my brownies since I have annoyed you so much".

Unwrapping the brownie, the guy takes a bite; suddenly, the guys spits it out and says:
"HEY," he snarled, "this brownie tastes like crap!!!"

"It is," replied the salesman. "Wanna buy some mouthwash?"

[saber6]

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens when you first meet
someone and you both have sex until you are
Blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner
for a short time and you are so needy you will
have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner
for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and
you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex
This is when you have been with your partner
for too long. When you pass each other in the
hallway you both say 'screw you.'

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.
Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun
in the afternoon and Nun at night.(Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.
This is when you cannot stand your wife anymore
She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least,
The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.
You get a little each month, but not enough to enjoy yourself.

[TFP]

Haha, that was a good one.

[dave.s3693]

Yeah very funny

[saber6]

bump

[Nancybaby]

haha..

[cadee]

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

[jvpl]

great jokes all the way, specially the one where husband tries to find the remote. I am loving this thread. here is short one from my side....

Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.

Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."

George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."

Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark . . . "